Hey babe we need to talk….
We have been together for so long.Honestly I don't remember a time in my life when you weren’t with me. It feels like we entered the world together fingers intertwined and ready to walk through life. It was natural to be with you. You would always whisper in my ear at just the right time with just the right words. You had a funny way of making me feel safe in your suffocating arms. You were a smooth talker and that’s what I liked most about you. You always seemed to have a way of getting your way and I willingly went along with it thinking that you knew best. You always said that you had my best interest in mind but at your core you wanted nothing but to drive a wedge between me and real
love.You were just wasting my time. You were always consistent though. I will give you that, even when I didn't want you to be there you were. Always giving me the one liners that made my knees weak. You snuck into my room late at night and held me until I fell asleep in your arms only to wake up to your soft kiss in the morning. No one knew that wherever I went, whatever I did, whatever I said or chose not to say was filtered through you. You were abusive cutting me with every word you said. It didn't need to be physical because the emotional and spiritual scars you gave me manifested in my life without the black and blue evidence. And the thing is I don't know how to live life without you. I don't know how to walk in a room and not see you there staring at me with your captivating smirk telling me to sit right next to you so that we could daydream about the life we would live together. It was a simple life that we dreamed up you had a way of keeping my dreams small. You actually never let me dream. The life that we talked about was the life you wanted. I had no say in that. You weren’t faithful either. I would hear other girls talk about the things you said to them. They talked about times that you would sneak into their rooms and hold them to sleep and kiss them good morning just to crawl back into my bed before my eyes saw the same morning light. They cried about how you broke them too. I would stay quiet because who wants to be embarrassed that their man is cheating on them. I stayed quiet because you promised that it wouldn't happen again. You promised that we would be exclusive that all of your one liners would be for my ears only. I should have known that you were lying. It makes sense your father is a liar too. Did I ever tell you that your dad has been pursuing me for a while now? He has been spinning his words into a cocoon around me. He said that you wouldn't mind. He said that it was a family affair. He told me that if I am in a relationship with you that I was family and that meant letting him and your brothers spend time with me too. When you left the room briefly like you always did my father came in and told me that you were no good. I laughed in his face. You were the constant in my life when nothing else was. You kept me up at night creating stories and realities that I knew weren’t real but believed anyways. You were always good at telling stories that's what made me fall in love with you. You seemed to be able to spin lies out of the truth and I would have believed you hung the moon if you told me because I wanted more than anything for you to be right. I would’ve run away with you if my friends wouldn't have kept my feet from leaving the earth they were planted on. They seemed to always tell me things you said were a lie like I was loved and wanted and worth it. You made sure I knew that no one was capable of that. You even expressed to me how feeble and conditional your love for me was. You kept me close because I think deep down you were scared that I would find someone else, someone better.
Well that's kind of what I wanted to tell you. I don't think this is going to work. It’s not me its you. I think that you knew this wouldn't last forever. I really thought it would. I would say my life feels empty without you but it doesn’t surprisingly. And before you tell me why I can't live without you let me tell you that I have been cheating on you. It feels good to get that off my chest! I have been testing out trusting someone else. It feels so scary but like fullness of life at the same time. I want to tell you about him because I’ve been talking to Him about you. He has a way of loving me into submission to him. He told me that he has loved me for a long time and has been wanting to get with me and that made my schoolgirl heart skip a beat. After being told by you that my dreams needed to be small enough to fit in my palms it is exhilarating to be with a man that tells me that my dreams not only should scare me but that they were designed to. I found someone else to hold me through the night and someone that I have full faith actually hung the moon. He said he told you to stay away from me. He said that he already fought you once for me (and he won). That's funny because whenever he would come up in conversation between us you always wanted to change the subject. You never wanted me to talk to him and now I know why. I won't even lie though; being with him feels like leaving everything natural to me behind, but it's worth it. I’m running away with Him. That's why i needed to talk to you, you have to move out. I am making room for Him. Oh that's Him knocking on the door….. I’m answering this time.
Fear I loved you I really did but it's over. Please lose my number and my addresses.
Sincerely, Your Ex
